I am still exhausted from running around like a chicken on crack for 12,000 hours on Valentines Day. Not only that but I have been struck with a vile plauge, which is normal as I always get sick or need a root canal on or around V-Day. Ahhhh, life... Anyway, since I simply do not have the mental or physical health needed to fill you all in on the fantabulous V-Day adventures that I had (NOT) I'm gonna hit you up with this weeks list.
Top things that I have been told NOT to do. Or have been yelled at for.
-DO NOT make friends, have friends or care about your friends.
-DO NOT speak out of turn in a meeting.... Or ever perhaps.
-DO NOT ever make a unilateral decision. Always ask questions.
-DO NOT ask questions!
-DO NOT use a dirty trash bag to put the left over lettuce in at the end of the night. Really? I never would have guessed!
-DO NOT tell the truth to the guy from the Dept of Labor.
-DO NOT!! Lean on that counter....
-DO NOOOT remove your shoe
-Absolutely DO NOT purchase a tiramisu. You renegade thief!
-DO NOT forget to fill up your salt shakers unless you enjoy being called a douche bag
-DO NOT forget to restock the rubber-salad-gloves. Unless you like being called a piece of shit effing waitress. Ouch.
-DO not- Trust people who are in good moods. Unless you wish to sustain whiplash when their mood swings back to BAD.
-DO NOT- Throw away nasty lettuce. Wave your magic wand and make it USEABLE!
-DO NOT! Take care of your customers when there is silverware to dry
-According to Ashley DO NOT listen to Jan. According to Jan DO NOT listen to Ashley. I make it all ok by not listening to either of them.
-Do NOT make mistakes when bringing food to Gina's table. Even if it is your first day on the job, she will rip out your spleen and eat it in front of you for being such an ass.
-DO NOT ask Ashley how she is. Unless you want sordid details of her ongoing sexcapades.
-DO NOT break anything or make mistakes of any sort unless you wish to be beaten soundly with the handle of the vacuum cleaner
-Do NOT cross your arms. Touch your face. Touch your hair. Use your words. Have thoughts. Be smart.
-Do NOT drop 4 loaves of bread on the floor and then pick them up and use them anyway. Oops, did I just say that?
-Do not congregate in the waitstation. Stand by the hostesses. Block the hallway. Talk to one another. Unless you are "everyone but US."
-Do Not throw a jar of sauce at Jan. It will just hit the floor and make a huge mess.
-Do not question the Wisdom. Remember that we are in the presence of someone great and famous
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"-Do NOT drop 4 loaves of bread on the floor and then pick them up and use them anyway. Oops, did I just say that?"
ReplyDeleteB.S. I've seen MANAGERS do it. ;-)
"Do not congregate in the waitstation. Stand by the hostesses. Block the hallway. Talk to one another. Unless you are "everyone but US."
ReplyDeleteHa! You sound like you are writing about my own waitressing gig.
Clean don't lean!
ReplyDelete