Adventures in sidework

After spending more quality time at Captain Rigatoni's I came to realize why the waitstaff regularly came to blows over the side work. The list is long, the work is challenging if not downright scary and it takes the better part of the evening to accomplish. One of the most dreaded jobs is preparing the lettuce for the salads. In all honesty, I might desire this job as it takes you deep into the belly of the restaurant away from the critical eyes of Capt Rig and the scathing remarks of the Head Harpies.

Upon my arrival one fine evening Mr Waiter #1 welcomed me with the following: "You are going to learn how to prep the lettuce tonight" "Well, sounds both technical and challenging" I said with maybe a hint of sarcasm. Looking at me quizzically over his glasses he said "Well, you must understand that there is a very specific way it needs to be done!" Rolling my eyes on the inside I said "Really? I am so surprised to learn that. Who would have thought?" (or something of the sort, as my patience was growing thin towards the absurdity of the situations.) Heading into the deep dark passageways of the kitchen I discovered that though lettuce prep is by no means rocket science it is a bit of a challenge for several reasons. (Sorry Mr Waiter #1, but the prep of lettuce is something that I have been doing for many millennia and the fact that we can wear kevlar gloves at this restaurant takes most of the danger out of it.) Which is good- as I loose fingers on a regular basis thanks to my questionable cutting abilities. What makes the salad prep a bit treacherous here is the use of a gynormous salad spinner, a huge green monster of a thing mounted decidedly above my head. After you dump heaps of greens in it and smack the on switch with a fry basket (if you are me. if everything in life is 8 feet above eye level) it takes off with an airplane engine like roar and shakes the whole building. Very worrying!! The removal of the dry greens is tricky as well, as standing on chairs is forbidden (might fall) so I have to stand on tip toe and wiggle the beast out of it's home with the tip of my finger and catch it smoothly before it goes all over everything. This is accomplished while leaning perilously over an industrial sized sink filled with water and lettuce- drowning is certain should you loose your balance. Now really, these people know how to put the "A" in adventure.... The most adventurous part of this task is the cautious and sneaky disposal of lettuce that is far past its prime. Essentially, we are supposed to use up everything and not throw anything in the hopper. If one comes across a leaf, or God forbid a whole BAG of brown lettuce you must casually walk by a trash can, drop it in like stealth and the run like your life depends on it. And if possible, sling something else on top of it so that what you have left does not resemble waste. Lettuce prep is a job that can easily take up an hour of your time and in my eyes, it is a blissful way to hide out back and think bitter thoughts.

The ultimate battle of the day always comes at closing time as the waitstaff fights bitterly about who can stay and vacuum and who can be sent home. This fight reaches a fever pitch if there are lingering diners at tables who are holding up the process. The rule is that everyone has to stay and help but this rarely happens. I have seen servers pay off other servers to do their section, cry sudden and urgent illness, or just cry. It is such obvious torture to stay that extra hour or so that it really seems wise to make vacuuming a part of the next days opening side work and save everyone the fight/sobbing in the corner/sudden hysterics.

The theory that the waitstaff should do the jobs of many reflects very clearly in both the opening and closing side work. It is critical to remember, that a server makes a horrible hourly wage (just a tad over $3 an hour) and so extremely cheap labor can be obtained by having us do so many different things. The bathrooms are cleaned by us, floors are mopped and rugs are vacuumed, saving them the cost of having a cleaning person (or, have one of the "paid" cooks do the kitchen floor.) I have mentioned before that putting away the dishes is our job, saving them the cost of paying another dishwasher, or having the lone dishwasher put in extra hours. They save the cost of an additional prep cook by having us do much of the food prep that is typically assigned to the lower ranking chefs. We clean our own tables, reset them in addition to making our own salads and desserts something that bus people do in all other restaurants that I worked it. Being something of a business person myself, I understand the theory of having fewer people on the payroll, but at what cost to the customers? Obviously the mental health of the staff is suffering greatly but when you have 1.2 million menial tasks to do the diners are the ones that will have to wait for their cake, or check and that ticks them off- resulting in terrible tips. AHHHH! So the moral of the story is that in the end, nobody wins. But what do I know, as I'm just a middle aged waitress....